praying with your hands too (draft 1)

What do I have to say?
I do c are. I do.
I’m doing something with my life. I am.
I just don’t believe in what I did. I just don’t.
I need to breath and I need a direction… and an ear. I
really need an ear.
Will you listen to this overfull chapter? Will you, dear? Will you hear?
The problem is all these other lives crept into mine.
And I am left reeling with my inability.
See this thing happened in Haiti.
But don’t worry… don’t fret.
Not yet.
My only connection to Haiti is this pilong for crushing garlic and other herbs.
My sister brought back when she went there to vacate last year. Oh, and my sister(1).
That was her first trip to the place her parents left so long ago(3) to raise their children(5) in more stability.
And my sister’s husband (6) of course.
And his sister(7) who just came back with them.
Homesick for her native land and her parents (8), both doctors, and brother (9) and his girlfriend (10) who was hurt so bad in the earthquake Papi Jo was still working to save her life last I heard.
And then there’s all his Patients (?) and Mummi’s who were children (?)mostly.
She’s a pediatritcian.
All coming to their clinics.
Many of the staff were lost (?).
And then there’s the hospital that was just going up, and everyone who would have been there (?).
And the college where they were heading to lecture which collapsed before their eyes in the shaking and everyone in it (?)
So many staff and students under the rubble and their families(?) and neighbors(?) and friends(?)
All these people creeping into my life. My circle of care.
But what do I know. I’m Danish American.
I only speak a handful of kreyol phrases.
About one for every Hatian I know.
Let me think, theres…
Edwige, Bianca, Phedora, Joanne, Kathy, Pearl and Andras, Miriam and Moise. That counselor back in Riverside who told us looking for a partner without knowing yourself is like looking for the “other” shoe in a pair you have never seen. And even that crazy Spanish professor who told everyone his name was juacim, b/c he was not proud of his heritage. And Rose Roni and Rose Filongen and Soveir oh, crazy Soveir who believed not only that Jesus was the first social worker, but that he was the first to have this thought…
And these are only the Americans… I guess that’s why they say, Hatian by association…

What if I just gave a dollar for everyone I know every month, for a year. Just 25 dollars a month. That’s less than a dollar a day. Would be 300 dollars. Which isn’t much. But it’s something I guess. I dare myself to. And I dare you too.
That’s not just praying with your mouth, but praying with your hands too.