sand in a bottle

In my office, dimly lit by lamplite. I have something to write. Sade sings "pearls". Children laugh in the hall. I can hear the silence between the sounds. It is velvet, heavy with contemplation. I am visited by memories of the past.

Two friends are out from California. Friends from highschool, friends from camp, friends that stayed friends through college, through the changing years. Yet they have changed little. And I am struck by the difference of our lives. By the difference that stretches between old friends: the only bridge, the change.

How is it that this came to be? I see clearly and with gratitude the path that led me away. The mystery is the path that stayed the same. I had all but believed it to have whithered away.

Eric

My love,
I have something to say.
Something that can’t wait.
Something that lies deep and comforting in my chest,
beating with my heart
The rhythm of love for you, my love.
This is what I have to say,in every way
possible
i love you

social action/political change

I’m starting small.
One step in the right direction.
Maybe one or two, just to get me going.
I’m starting small.
Like the first fist of snow for a snowball.
Just enough to get it rolling.
Growing.
Something to get me moving.
Just enough to get the momentum started.

A word here.
An e-mail there.
A donation when I can.
Connecting when ideas are good, even though far from perfect.
Finally I see the dreams and ideas changing,
……..morphing,
………………………growing in the smallest ways into actions and movement.

I hope you do something too.
Anything to get you going in the right direction.
And please remind me that you did.
Sometimes I need the nudge.
Most times really…
b/c though my dreams are worlds through and life-changing.
I’m starting off small.

A step in the right direction.
Maybe two or three just do get me going.
Like the first fist of snow for a snowball
Just enough to get it rolling.
Growing.
Something to get me moving.
Just enough to get the momentum started.

the endless rounds

let me just do what i can today. i'm tired. my body's worn out. my brain is tired from running in a thousand different directions. i'd like to stay home and write. it's been 5 months since i've had a vacation. get used to it i guess. this is the work world. those two weeks at christmas are going to be a life saver. 5 months to reach them though. i tell the tired workings of my mind, again. just do what you can today. start somewhere. get through it. and leave when the hands reach 3 and 6. be glad for these early days when you roll out of bed and drag your body out the door before you normally brush your teeth. lunch by the phone, computer, so i can leave early. bring this wreck home. maybe tomorrow will seem less formidable. let me just wipe one of these endless tasks off my plate. let me just do what i can today.

It's been a long day. at 2:00 i have another meeting. i don't have the information for it. forgot it as a matter of fact. don't have time to recolect. got a family, 15% over-income. recieve their stipend twice a year hhhmmmm... that's too much. walked back into the room, "so you recieve this once anually, correct?
"yes once anually".
"great, will you please sign here..."


...practical ethics are questionable at best.