a storm is raging outside.
we're in and i can't take my eyes off it.
lightning throwing cracks in the sky for a brilliant second.
we just got back soaking wet from our brief jaunt to the river.
stripped down at the door and ran for the warmth of hot showers.
now it's all calm and, in the stillness, only a flash through the rain bejeweled window let's me know the war is still on out there.
i've been drinking milk and reading old blogs while two things are slowly dawning on me.
1.) my writing will be good again when i get fully in to the next truly meaningful phase of my life. ie. get a meaningful job. start volunteering somewhere. get back into politics and my struggle toward activism...
and secondly, that life will pic up again. one way or another it will come. i'll make it happen or it'll fall on me when i'm not expecting... whether it's here, or back in socal or god forbid some unknown elsewhere, but it will happen. this listless, mildly empty due mostly to my own restlessnes, unemployed phase, will in fact pass. it's just a momentary lull. and for right now at least this confidence seeps in and fills me with enough satisfaction to last me into tomorrow, i hope. enough to carry me through another fruitless day of job searching. then again, who knows. maybe, just maybe tomorrow won't feel quite so fruitless.
